On Dealing with Feelings of Inadequacy 

I miss work. I miss the feeling of accomplishment that comes with it, I miss the daily challenge. 

Not that I don’t have ‘work’ as a stay at home mom, this is after all a 24/7 sort of gig. And it is also probably the most fulfilling and contentment-inducing job out there, but damn it it’s just not the same!

I don’t regret giving up a career to raise a family, I honestly don’t, hell I’d make the same choice again in a heart beat, but there’s a lot that comes with this new role that you can’t truly understand till you feel if. I may be exactly the same person with the same personality, but people and society just see me differently. There’s a change in perspective, a paradigm shift, when you go from ‘working person’ to ‘stay at home mom’, and even though I know that’s not who I am, living and interacting in this society just makes me see myself the way they see me. 

I know, I know, mothers matter, mothers work is useful and necessary, stay at home moms are not ‘lazy’ or myopic. In the end though, saying all that stuff is easy, trying to internalize it so you don’t feel inadequate is a whole other story.


9 thoughts on “On Dealing with Feelings of Inadequacy 

  1. Hi N,

    I think I can relate with how you feel. There’s a sense of “involvement” that one gets when they are part of the whole Nine-to-Five hustle and grind.

    Still, being a SAHM is just as important. I don’t think the two (Working Vs SAH) should be compared to one another the way society likes to do, both are relevant in their own different ways.

    Besides, who knows what the future holds for you? So, enjoy this special time with your daughter, tomorrow is full of endless possibilities. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It really is hard. I’ve been a SAHM for 8 years now, and while I’ve worked as a freelance writer part-time, it still punches me in the gut every so often that I’m not out there pursuing a career and making more of a contribution to our household.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ever since my second year at college I’ve had a job, sometimes more than one! So this stay at home thing can really get to me at times 😁 The people around us can make it even harder with their attitudes and questions 😓

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I *know* this feeling. I feel it in my bones sometimes, or my heart. On some really rough and treacherous days, I feel it everywhere all.at.once and it hurts, it’s sad, and I wonder more than ever about choices and circumstances and life and goals. And then, I get a second or two to breathe, I mean really breathe, and all of the Real comes flooding back. I love this life. I’m blessed beyond belief to have it and it’s wonderful. I’m dedicated to this life in a way I wouldn’t have ever been dedicated to qorking, no matter how much I loved it or how much I sometimes miss it. And once all those thoughts and feelings come back, I know I’m still ok and I can “leave the world behind”. :mama hugs:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hugs are always welcome.. And you’re right, the feeling comes and goes, sometimes worse than others, but it’s all worth it in the end. I would make the same choices again if given the opportunity

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Truly in the same boat here. Every day, no matter how hard, I know that in reality, I’d still be home as much as I could be, no matter what! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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