Arranging Love (Part 6): Yes or No?

The tea things had finally been cleared away, heels had been kicked off and collars had been loosened as the family sat around the living room, everyone giving their own 2 cents about the boy and his family.

The girl smiled to herself, remembering the endearing way the boy’s brother had managed to break her away from the women and seat her right across from the boy. True she hadn’t actually talked to the boy himself (that would have been scandalous!), but she had watched him converse and interact with her father and brother, she had noted his easy smile and his respectful demeanor, and she had blushed at the covert glances he had sent her way.

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Listening to everyone happily discussing the evening, she realized that she wasn’t alone in her positive thoughts. They all seemed to have loved the boy.

The girl was still smiling to herself when her father turned to her and asked her the all important question.

“What did you think of him N?”

“I thought he was nice, they were all nice.”

“Are you ok with us saying yes?”

The room was quiet, all eyes on the girl. This was probably the most important decision she would ever have to make in her adult life, and she knew it. What she also knew though was that she trusted her father’s judgement and he would not be willing to give her away in marriage unless he really liked the boy and family in question.

She turned to her father and felt herself blush.

“Yes.”

…. to be continued.

Over the years since I’ve been blogging I’ve been asked more than once how I met my husband, how arranged marriages work. Each marriage, arranged or not, comes about differently and I can’t speak for them all, but this is my story.

I’m telling this story in order so if you missed it, here is Part 1. If you want to know what happens next, here is Part 7!

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18 thoughts on “Arranging Love (Part 6): Yes or No?

    1. Hahaha! That’s the way it’s done 😁 To be fair, my parents asked me again a few time the next day as well before actually saying yes to the other family

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      1. I think if you’re brought up in the culture than its normal for you so you don’t see it as strange or different. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot more ‘love marriages’ in Pakistan too now but even those have to go through similar channels. So if a boy and girl like each other and want to get married, they’ll go to their parents. The parents will than put the prospective spouse through the same vetting process, meet them and their families, etc. If at the end the parents are satisfied, they say yes and the wedding happens πŸ™‚

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  1. Oh this is so adorable! πŸ™‚ I know there is a massive difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages and you have highlighted this beautifully. Also I love the way you have depicted the shyness and excitement in your words πŸ™‚ I am very much looking forward to the next instalment!

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    1. Thank you! Part of the reason I started writing this was to highlight that difference and I’m glad it’s coming across πŸ™‚ Writing about your own life is hard!

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    1. Hahaha! It sounds scarier than it is πŸ˜‚ The point of an arranged marriage is that you trust your family to make the right decision. They know you best, they know what kind of personality will mesh well with yours. And the guy is vetted without the ‘love is blind’ angle to it. You get to fall in love knowing this is the guy for you. Besides, the point of the engagement period is to get to know each other. We talked regularly after we got engaged, all couples do πŸ™‚ That way if you guys don’t hit it of for some reason, the engagement can be broken. It’s like society sanctioned dating πŸ˜‚ some families are more ‘modern’ and will let the couple meet and go out together after the engagement, other families are more ‘conservative’ and won’t even let them talk on the phone too much before the knot is tied. It varies πŸ™‚

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