The Basic Equations of Parenthood

I was never very good at math in school, it never failed to reduce me to a stressed out mess (or a crying one at that). After yet another day spent battling numbers, I would console myself that once I graduated, I would never need to do math again, at least nothing more complicated than balancing my checkbook.

Apparently, I was wrong. Everything in life is just math in the end, even parenthood…


Sleeping baby = happy mommy

(Toddler + My Little Pony) + bedtime = tantrum

(Early morning + grumpy toddler) – sleep = a long day

(Mommy + coffee) + toddler = manageable

(Mommy – coffee) + toddler = kill me now

(Play date + toddler) – tantrum = relief

(Toddler + bed time) – tantrum = miracle

toddler + new toy = happy toddler

(Toddler + toddler) + one new toy = world war 3

Mommy + exhaustion + trying to sleep = fully awake toddler

Mommy + cooking = toddler wants playtime

Mommy + daddy + toddler + blankets + couch + movie = bliss


What do you think? What equations would you add to this list?


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My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
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31 thoughts on “The Basic Equations of Parenthood

  1. That list is pretty great 😊 I would add: Mom needs to leave on time + toddler crawling underneath the bed, “hiding” and laughing like a wild child = mommy blowing a gasket and having her own temper tantrum

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the list! I didn’t think I’d be a Full Time Grandma but I am, and going through all of these wonderful, frustrating, hilarious stages again.

    We are in the throws of Terrible Threes, and he’s such a boy. He delights in being gross, climbing and jumping and scaring me half to death! Keeping him alive this year is my only goal. He has no fear or idea how dangerous things are.
    Many nights I just want a glass of wine, and a quiet room. πŸ™‚

    I wouldn’t give this up for anything! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All kids delight in trying to scare their parents and grandparents half to death πŸ˜‚ Lilly is in the terrible twos stage for now and boy is she a handful! But yes, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything either! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Brilliant!!!! I love this analogy, and all so true! Such a comprehensive and defining list, especially (mommy-coffee) + toddler = kill me now!! I need to keep a constant eye on my coffee supply! I struggled to think of anything I could add to this! I will look forward to seeing more of your work, thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink!

    Liked by 1 person

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