Why hello there, fancy meeting you here. Are you enjoying life in your little bubble of existence? Are you comfy in your insulation of denial? Happy in your ‘factual’ knowledge of the ‘inherent inferiority’ of women? Good good. Far be it for me to burst your heavily fortified bubble but my humble female self would like to offer you just a few guidelines in the art of NOT getting your face smashed by a member of the ‘inferior’ denizens of society:
- Practise the art of brevity
There’s nothing we poor, inferior females like more than a man who knows his mind and who isn’t afraid to express it. Especially when his ‘mind’ is of the quality that thinks ‘because I say so’ is a valid form of argument. But still, in the interests of not getting smacked upside the head, at least try to curb your tendency towards verbosity, ok?
- Religion is not your friend
While we poor women may not be as well-versed as you in the ways of the world, we would like to offer our humble opinion that selectively reading religious texts to suit your needs, quoting scripture out of context, ignoring the bits that contradict you or, when all else fails, completely twisting the words around to mean the opposite of what they actually mean may not be the best way to go about things. Despite what you may believe, religion is not half as misogynistic as you mistakenly think it is.
- Silence does not mean agreement
As a lowly woman (a housewife and stay at home mom no less), far be it for me to imply that you may be a pompous, entitled jackass who doesn’t know when to shut up, but I will offer one small tidbit of advice: if someone is remaining silent through your enlightening speech on how women owe it to you to not let themselves get ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’, don’t take it to mean they are agreeing with you. They may be suppressing the urge to murder you in cold blood and its best not to poke a hornet’s nest unless you have suicidal tendencies, in which case by all means, go right ahead with your diatribe against the ‘weaker’ sex.