Parenthood is one of those ‘you can’t imagine it till you do it’ kind of deals. It can make you do funny things, things the pre-motherhood-you could have sworn you would never do.
All those things you made fun of/self-righteously objected to when other parents did it before you had your own little bundle of joy? Yup, you’ll be doing all of them and more before your baby is old enough to wear big girl pants.
So yes, if it’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that never say never.
I had a not-so-proud mom moment just this morning. Any mother will tell you that with a toddler, every little thing that seems easy enough in theory can turn into a battle royale with a 99% chance of you coming out the loser. Bath time can lead to less time bathing and more time trying to hold your slippery child still long enough to shampoo her hair, not to mention the hour needed to clean up the inevitably flooded bathroom. Meal time? Well let’s just say that trying to get Lilly to eat anything has probably given me a stress induced ulcer by now and turned me prematurely grey. Nap time is never easy either and any parent will tell you that if you do manage to get your baby to fall asleep, you will go ANYTHING to make sure nothing disturbs her.
Allow me to explain.
After many many MANY afternoons spend trying to get my toddler to nap so I can maybe shower or change or cook or wash the morning’s breakfast out of Lilly’s shirt, I’ve come to appreciate the days that Lilly actually goes down for her nap before I dissolve into tears. And I will do ANYTHING to make sure nothing disturbs her so she can sleep for as long as possible.
Which is why I had a mini heart attack this morning when I realized I’d inadvertently put Lilly down in my bedroom and I still needed to shower and change.
Ok, no big deal. I can get dressed quietly without waking her, right?
Everything was going fine, I had managed to shower and was just doing the hopping dance that is required to squeeze into my jeans when I bumped into the dresser and managed to knock an eye lash curler onto the wooden floor.
With my jeans still around my knees I dived behind the bed, snatching up the offending eye lash curler as I did so.
Then I held my breath.
I heard more stirring. I swore silently at my need for an eye lash curler I barely use and prayed for a miracle.
I peeked out from the corner and saw Lilly sitting up in her pack and play but apparently, still asleep: her eyes were closed and she was swaying like a drunken sailer.
I held my breath some more and prayed that if God would allow Lilly to go back to sleep I would promise to volunteer at the local soup kitchen.
Lilly swayed some more, the eye lash curler dug into my chest, I started getting light headed from all the breath holding, and then the miracle happened: she lay back down and started snoring softly.
Thank you God.
Now all I need to do is figure out where the nearest soup kitchen is.