Motherhood:Making Me Do Stupid Things on a Daily Basis

Parenthood is one of those ‘you can’t imagine it till you do it’ kind of deals. It can make you do funny things, things the pre-motherhood-you could have sworn you would never do.

All those things you made fun of/self-righteously objected to when other parents did it before you had your own little bundle of joy? Yup, you’ll be doing all of them and more before your baby is old enough to wear big girl pants.

So yes, if it’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that never say never.

motherhood-no-vacation

I had a not-so-proud mom moment just this morning. Any mother will tell you that with a toddler, every little thing that seems easy enough in theory can turn into a battle royale with a 99% chance of you coming out the loser. Bath time can lead to less time bathing and more time trying to hold your slippery child still long enough to shampoo her hair, not to mention the hour needed to clean up the inevitably flooded bathroom. Meal time? Well let’s just say that trying to get Lilly to eat anything has probably given me a stress induced ulcer by now and turned me prematurely grey. Nap time is never easy either and any parent will tell you that if you do manage to get your baby to fall asleep, you will go ANYTHING to make sure nothing disturbs her.

baby-doorbell-sign-napping
Which is partly why this morning found me hiding, half dressed, behind the bed, clutching a eyelash curler to my chest.

Allow me to explain.

After many many MANY afternoons spend trying to get my toddler to nap so I can maybe shower or change or cook or wash the morning’s breakfast out of Lilly’s shirt, I’ve come to appreciate the days that Lilly actually goes down for her nap before I dissolve into tears. And I will do ANYTHING to make sure nothing disturbs her so she can sleep for as long as possible.

Which is why I had a mini heart attack this morning when I realized I’d inadvertently put Lilly down in my bedroom and I still needed to shower and change.

Ok, no big deal. I can get dressed quietly without waking her, right?

Right.

Everything was going fine, I had managed to shower and was just doing the hopping dance that is required to squeeze into my jeans when I bumped into the dresser and managed to knock an eye lash curler onto the wooden floor.

Lilly stirred.

I panicked.

With my jeans still around my knees I dived behind the bed, snatching up the offending eye lash curler as I did so.

Then I held my breath.

I heard more stirring. I swore silently at my need for an eye lash curler I barely use and prayed for a miracle.

I peeked out from the corner and saw Lilly sitting up in her pack and play but apparently, still asleep: her eyes were closed and she was swaying like a drunken sailer.

I held my breath some more and prayed that if God would allow Lilly to go back to sleep I would promise to volunteer at the local soup kitchen.

Lilly swayed some more, the eye lash curler dug into my chest, I started getting light headed from all the breath holding, and then the miracle happened: she lay back down and started snoring softly.

Thank you God.

Now all I need to do is figure out where the nearest soup kitchen is.

 

 

Domestic Momster
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27 thoughts on “Motherhood:Making Me Do Stupid Things on a Daily Basis

  1. I have been there, minus the eyelash curler. But yes, half naked, hiding behind the bed, making promises I probably should consider keeping if I want to keep making them… Good luck with that soup kitchen 😉

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  2. Those eyelash curlers are trouble!!!

    My personal favorite was always the setting down the sleeping baby. When then they stir and so you stay with one arm stuck underneath them leaning over a crib trying not to breathe until most of your body goes numb and you finally feel like you should either risk extraction or cut off the arm altogether.

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  3. I learned early on that the more noisy it is as the child goes to sleep, the less likely they will wake whenever there’s a sudden noise while their sleeping. I come from a house with five kids (four siblings) and had four of my own — eventually. There was no such thing as a quiet house in my family. There were always dogs, television, radio, doors banging, people talking, whatever… So I have actually never had that experience, even with my first kid. It sounds awful to be so terrified of waking the baby. My kids slept through jets going by overhead, vacuum cleaners going on and off, doorbells, whatever… Didn’t stir a wink. Kids are pretty adaptable that way. ^_^

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    1. That’s lucky! I’m sure the next baby will grow up in a noisy house given the presence of a rowdy older sibling around the place :p I grew up in a noisy house as well but with one thing and another Lilly has ended up growing up in a relatively quieter house >.<

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  4. You made my day! My toddler goes to school in September, but I’m not ready to give up on his naps yet. Good thing is he has his own room, but that’s also the bad thing (I spent half of last night on the floor next to his bed to chase the night mares). And we have stairs that make too much noise.
    But that mental picture of you hiding behind the bed, with that curler… ha! I think about that during the next nightmare episode 🙂

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  5. I had two twelve months apart and they both slept for two hours in the day (I know, it was a miracle) Murder was nearly committed several times when the phone rang (did my friends not KNOW it was nap time?), parcels were delivered, or building work was done in the street. I admire people whose babies sleep through anything- mine slept for two hours straight every day at the same time and that was enough for me. I was too terrified to test out the making lots of noise theory. And usually I was asleep too.

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    1. Lilly used to sleep about 2 hours a day as well but for the past month or so she’s been fighting nap time as if her life depends upon it so when she actually does sleep, I’m willing to break bones in order to make sure she stays asleep :p I have no idea how I’ll manage to get a second baby to nap with a rambunctious toddler around the place if and when we decide to expand our little family!

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  6. My 8 year old was born a picky eater. I remember asking his pediatrician if it was something I needed to worry about and he said no. I asked him this when my son was 3. He is still the pickiest eater I’ve ever met (though it is starting to get better, just a little bit) and I’ve definitely been there with the sleeping thing. My oldest didn’t like to sleep. He’s a teenager now and can’t seem to get enough sleep. Great post! Thanks for sharing.

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    1. The joys indeed :p The worst is when she falls asleep in her car seat on the way home and then wakes up when I try to take her out of the seat and then refuses to have a proper nap >.< I miss the time when she fit in a carrier and I could just detach it and carry the whole thing inside!

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  7. I don’t think I showered for more then 30 seconds for at least 3 years. 3 babies in 3 years and I never had a free moment. I am just now, after 5 years, finally getting back to myself. Motherhood is stressful and anyone who says it isn’t ….IS LYING! Thanks for sharing with #momsterslilnk.

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