Being a girl in today’s world is a confusing thing: be girly, don’t be ‘too’ girly, don’t become fat but don’t let those photoshopped size zero models on tv body shame you! Have a career, no have babies and stay home with them. Wear makeup, but don’t wear too much makeup. Find a man, you don’t need a man! Stay at home, go to work, do both but be perfect at each.
Apparently we, as females, need to be taught how exactly to be female so as to offend/anger/disgust the least number of people.
It’s a fine line to walk between being loved or hated simply for being female. Not conventionally beautiful? Too bad because no one likes ‘ugly’ girls. Conventionally beautiful? Too bad because no one likes ‘fake’ girls with ‘too much’ makeup who ‘friend zone’ all ‘nice’ guys (definition of all words in inverted commas is subject to change based on the whims of the person using said terms).
And then you become a mother to a baby girl.
Suddenly, in addition to ‘helpful’ comments on how you need to lose the pregnancy weight already and on how to correctly parent, you’re being berated because you put a blue onesie on your week old daughter instead of a pink one.
Apparently it’s a crime on par with murder to dress a girl in anything that’s not pink or frilly or (preferably) both. Her room has to be pink too of course, in addition to any blankets, teddy bears and bath towels. Buy her dolls, don’t let her play in the dirt, her dress will get dirty! She likes balls? That’s ok, as long as you get her a pink one with Disney princesses on it. Whatever you do, make sure she is as girly and feminine as humanly possible! Makes it all the more fun later when we’ll bombard her with negativity on being ‘too’ girly, ‘too’ weak or ‘too female’ when she gets older!
Don’t mess with my daughter. Don’t tell her what she can or can’t do based on your ideas on acceptable femininity! There is nothing wrong with being feminine, liking pink and frilly things or loving Disney princesses, as long as she chooses it for herself instead of being told it’s the only acceptable option! Don’t you dare take that toy truck out of her hands when she’s obviously enjoying playing with it to hand her a fluffy pink poodle because that’s what you think she should play with! Don’t you dare force those strapped orange sandals on her when she clearly told you she wants to wear the green crocs with the Hulk on them!
I’ve spend my life trying to live up to conflicting ideals of what a girl should be or should do, but I will NOT force it on my daughter, and I will NOT let you force it on her either!
You want to passive aggressively tell me I’m doing motherhood wrong? Fine. You try to imply to my daughter she’s doing ‘being a girl’ wrong? I will sucker punch you into the middle of next week.
Mess with me, I don’t care. Mess with my daughter? now it’s personal.