Before I even begin this rather unbelievable tale of humor amidst armed robbery, let me assure you that (a) it is perfectly true and completely not as made-up as it sounds, (b) no one was harmed in this incident and (c) no, this is not the usual outcome in such incidents and I am in no way trying to take away from the tragedy of such cases when things go horribly wrong.
So here goes:
Once upon a time there were two brothers who were bored silly and decided to go out just to break the monotony. Upon embarking on their adventure though, they realised that they were severely lacking in funds and decided to stop at an ATM before planning anything further. Before they could reach the aforementioned ATM though, they ran into another problem: they were apparently out of petrol as well. Not ones to get discouraged when plans go awry, they quickly decided that the older of the two would walk to the close-by petrol station while the younger stayed with the stalled car. A further hurdle presented itself when the elder realised he had forgotten his cell phone at home, but this was soon sorted with the younger handing over his own cell so the elder could hurry up and get the petrol already.
As the younger brother waited in the car, wishing he could pass the time beating his Candy Crush score, his musings were interrupted by a not-so-gentle tapping at his window. Upon further investigation (meaning: looking up), it transpired that a gun- toting man was politely tapping on the window with the aforementioned gun.
Being smart enough to know that when an armed man asks you to roll down a completely-not-bullet-proof window you had better do so, the young man complied. Don’t worry though dear readers, this will not end badly for our brave hero, unless of course you call being scolded by a would-be thief in the middle of the night bad, in which case I suggest you stop here.
Armed robber: give me your wallet!
*Young man hands over his wallet*
*Robber opens it only to find it empty*
Armed robber: where’s all your money?
Young man: my brother took it to buy Petrol.
Armed robber: hand over your cell phone then!
Young man: I don’t have it, my brother took it.
Armed robber (angry now): get out of the bloody car you idiot!
*Young man complies, takes a few steps back and watched the would-be thief try to steal his car. Finally taking pity on the robber, the young man steps forward and taps politely on his window*
Armed robber (annoyed): what?!
Young man: I thought you’d like to know that there’s no petrol in the car.
What followed was a proper scolding by the understandably frustrated thief on how the younger generation just didn’t know how to plan anything and how could anyone leave home without money and why the hell didn’t they check their petrol level before leaving home and so on and on.
So yes dear readers, apparently there are people in this world who can add ‘got scolded by an armed robber for not having anything worth stealing’ to their resume. All I can say is it’s better than having ‘got shot by a frustrated thief because I annoyed him with my inability to plan a nights excursion’ on your resume instead.