Falling Off the ‘Perfect Mom’ Pedestal

Motherhood is a blessing they say, motherhood is hard they warn, motherhood can really take it out of you they concede. What they don't say though (but probably should) is how hard you're going to fall from that pedestal of maternal perfection you managed to unconsciously put yourself on pre-motherhood.

Woman on predestral
This can never be a bad idea, right?

No sane person thinks that they're perfect, but when it comes to motherhood, that sanity goes right out the window. Pre-motherhood you manage to convince yourself that of course you won't scold your child like that mom in the supermarket who's pre-schooler just won't take no for an answer. Or that you'll never spoil your baby and she'll be the most well behaved baby in all the world. Or that you'll never let your baby cry when you've had it up till here and so-help-you-god you're this close to a homicidal rampage. Or more importantly, that you'll never start looking like a stereotypical 'harassed mom' with the unironed clothes, unkempt look and the dreaded 'mom haircut'.

You will be super mom: beloved of children and grown ups alike, you will be awesome at all things mom related and never make the 'mistakes' you see moms around you making because of course you know better.

Super mom
And look awesome while doing it

Right. Of course you do.

All those delusions shatter the first time your baby throws a tantrum in a crowded airplane/shop/wedding and you just can't seem to get her to quiet down. That's when it starts to dawn on you how sadly mistaken you were when you assumed that the harassed moms with the screaming babies were 'doing it wrong' and you'd know better. You start to realize just how darn frustrating, demanding, difficult and capable of reducing you to a blubbering mess at a moments notice motherhood really is. That no matter how much you do or how awesome you are at all things mom-related, babies are unpredictable and just because their every whim is taken care of doesn't mean they won't throw a tantrum or cry at awkward moments or decide to have a screaming fest the moment it's time to prepare dinner.

Tantrum
I don't care if I look cute and there's guests coming! I don't like orange!

Well, it's not like anyone ever accused karma of being nice. Look at the bright side, at least I still have my old hairstyle and haven't succumbed to the dreaded 'mom cut' no matter how often and how forcefully Baby L likes to pull at my strands. Look at me all fabulous with my long hair despite the baby attached to my hip! So what if it seems to be falling out at record speed thanks to childbirth. I'm sure it'll stop shedding soon enough, right?

Sure.

'Might I suggest a shorter 'do to help with the hair fall?' To be fair, my hair dresser didn't realize the landmine he was stepping on when he made that innocent suggestion. I'm sure his hearing will return in time. I mean, I didn't scream that loud, did I?

 

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10 thoughts on “Falling Off the ‘Perfect Mom’ Pedestal

  1. It doesn’t take long for that cookie to crumble . . . Analogies are not my thing today . . . I didn’t have much of a pedestal to stand on, I’d just turned 19 when I gave birth for the first time. I do recall saying my kids would never be dirty though. Yeah, that cookie crumbled and left a big ole dirty mess for me :o)

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    1. Hahaha! Mine was that my baby would never cry in her crib while I did other things but of course practically speaking, till I figure out a way to cook, clean and do the laundry with one hand while the baby is held by the other, she’s gonna have to get use to that crib 😝

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  2. Oh gosh I remember when I went to have my hair cut a month after I had my son. The hair dresser spent 15 minutes telling me my hair is falling out and I need ampules and a short hair and then she continued on how she doesn’t understand people who let their hair get in such bad shape. I sat through it quietly aside from rejecting the ampules (mainly because my hair gets greasy quickly and ampules only make it worse), insisting on just having my ends trimmed. I got home and I was fuming but my “polite” upbringing just wouldn’t allow me to give her a piece of my mind.

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    1. I think we all need a re education in when it’s ok to not be polite 😝 After all, keeping it all inside might lead to a homicidal rampage one day and then where will we be?

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  3. I remember when I had my little one throw up in church, about 3 minutes after I left her in class. All over the floor. Everywhere. I was so embarrassed. But, to make the story worse, about a week later, I took my little ones to the library. My oldest wasn’t feeling good and I knew it, but I just had to drop off the books. No biggie, right. Well, right there in the library, she threw up all over me and the floor. I was literally trying to catch the puke with my clothing. I just was so embarrassed I was covered in puke, so was she, and it was all over the floor. The sweet librarian shooed me away so that I could take her home and get us both in the shower. Perfect mom? No, not me!!

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    1. Oh God, I would have died right there! None of us is perfect but pre-baby, we all like to think that we are 😣 That was a nice librarian you ran into, because any other person would have made you feel even worse over the whole episode!

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  4. Well, maybe we should just change the definition of ‘a perfect mother’. Let’s all tell each other how absolutely bloody marvellous we are for just being there, and looking after our kids day after day, however much they make us want to run screaming down the street. Did you notice in that story of Balmtomysoul that she didn’t once blame her child for puking everywhere? No, she felt bad because of the mess that had been created. That’s a kind of perfection isn’t it? And hair???? I told a hairdresser once that I had 4 kids, and she recoiled, screeching ‘Four!!!!’ as if I told her I’d got 16 and lived in a paper bag. Didn’t go there again.

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  5. I don’t force potty training on my kids by 2yrs old or for my babies to be using a sippy cup at six months old. For that I’ve been given the side eye by a few moms and non-moms a like.

    My oldest when she was a toddler had a tantrum in the store and I refused to give in to her demands (she wanted me to buy her something). I put her in the carriage and finished up as fast as I could but I wasn’t going to let her behavior dictate whether or not we’d leave the store. A woman came up to me and told me what a horrible mother I am for staying in the store with a screaming child.

    I learned that no matter what you do, someone will find a fault. Perfection is just as much about making mistakes and learning as it is about living up to our own standards.

    Great post!

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    1. Very well said! Perfection, ‘real’ perfection, only exists in our minds and in the minds of people who like to find fault with whatever other people are doing/not doing!
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting πŸ™‚

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