Motherhood is a blessing they say, motherhood is hard they warn, motherhood can really take it out of you they concede. What they don't say though (but probably should) is how hard you're going to fall from that pedestal of maternal perfection you managed to unconsciously put yourself on pre-motherhood.
No sane person thinks that they're perfect, but when it comes to motherhood, that sanity goes right out the window. Pre-motherhood you manage to convince yourself that of course you won't scold your child like that mom in the supermarket who's pre-schooler just won't take no for an answer. Or that you'll never spoil your baby and she'll be the most well behaved baby in all the world. Or that you'll never let your baby cry when you've had it up till here and so-help-you-god you're this close to a homicidal rampage. Or more importantly, that you'll never start looking like a stereotypical 'harassed mom' with the unironed clothes, unkempt look and the dreaded 'mom haircut'.
You will be super mom: beloved of children and grown ups alike, you will be awesome at all things mom related and never make the 'mistakes' you see moms around you making because of course you know better.
Right. Of course you do.
All those delusions shatter the first time your baby throws a tantrum in a crowded airplane/shop/wedding and you just can't seem to get her to quiet down. That's when it starts to dawn on you how sadly mistaken you were when you assumed that the harassed moms with the screaming babies were 'doing it wrong' and you'd know better. You start to realize just how darn frustrating, demanding, difficult and capable of reducing you to a blubbering mess at a moments notice motherhood really is. That no matter how much you do or how awesome you are at all things mom-related, babies are unpredictable and just because their every whim is taken care of doesn't mean they won't throw a tantrum or cry at awkward moments or decide to have a screaming fest the moment it's time to prepare dinner.
Well, it's not like anyone ever accused karma of being nice. Look at the bright side, at least I still have my old hairstyle and haven't succumbed to the dreaded 'mom cut' no matter how often and how forcefully Baby L likes to pull at my strands. Look at me all fabulous with my long hair despite the baby attached to my hip! So what if it seems to be falling out at record speed thanks to childbirth. I'm sure it'll stop shedding soon enough, right?
'Might I suggest a shorter 'do to help with the hair fall?' To be fair, my hair dresser didn't realize the landmine he was stepping on when he made that innocent suggestion. I'm sure his hearing will return in time. I mean, I didn't scream that loud, did I?