Dear Internet, We Need To Talk

Image courtesy of College Humor

Dear Internet,

I love you, I do, but we really need to have a serious talk. Access to anything and everything is all well and good but some of the stuff out there is downright disturbing. Have you thought about putting warning labels on some of that stuff? You know, like a little window that pops up and asks you if you are sure that you want to proceed or that 'once seen, the following cannot be unseen. Proceed with caution'?

I know, I know, all this strange, bizarre or randomly disturbing material is put out there on the World Wide Web by people just like (or sort of like) me and no one is forcing me to run around clinking willy nilly on every link that comes my way, but let's face it: the denizens of the internet aren't exactly known for their self-control when it comes to NOT looking at things and I'm no different. How exactly do you expect me NOT to click on a link that promises to tell me about this new fan fiction trend of knotting? And how exactly do you expect me to not want to wash my brain out with soap after reading the damn thing?

Rinse and repeat

Yes, I know, you are not to blame for my lack of self control (or for the lack of pity on the part of people who subject me to such stuff by putting it out there) but let's face it: I'm an average human being and as such I WILL need someone else to blame for my own idiocies. Why try to be introspective and work on my own flaws when blaming someone else (in this case you) is so much easier?

So simple, right?

So yes, could you look into those warning labels please? Or maybe just come up with some way of limiting access to the darker recesses of the web to those who are actually looking for it? I mean, how many enthusiasts of the wanting-to-get-cooked-and-eaten variety can there be? You've got some weird shit (pardon my language) hiding in your by lanes and corners internet and I for one really cannot afford the therapy required to deal with having innocently clicked an innocuous link during a late night can't-sleep-so-let-me-surf-the-web session only to end up being subjected to your strangeness.

I love you internet, I really do, but you really need to stop scarring me for life every time I log on.

 

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11 thoughts on “Dear Internet, We Need To Talk

    1. If you value your sanity, you won’t, but if you’re a normal human being the curiosity might get you to do it against your better judgement 😝

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  1. OMG, I just clicked on that link, and just could not understand any of it. All I can figure out is its something very eww! I guess I am now old and past all new sexual trends 😀

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  2. Nodding my head in agreement with everything you wrote! I had seen that link too and of course clicked on it and of course now wish I could go back in time to give myself some impulse control. Maybe one of these days I’ll either learn to not click on everything or just wait for those warming labels to be used by websites.

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  3. Considering I suffer from Compulsive Link Clicking I should probably be clicking on that link. However, after reading your post and the comments I think I will resist the urge and go do the dishes instead. On a side note I would really appreciate if certain websites wouldn’t think it’s a great idea to have some sort of tune auto play when you land on their website. Yes it still happens. Sigh…

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