How to be the Best Housewife in all the Land


Housewif-ing (is that a word, because it should be) is hard work ladies and not a job for the faint hearted. Throw people who just won’t stop asking ‘but what do you do all day’ into the mix and it’s a wonder murder-by-housewife isn’t an actual section of the penal code by now. Homicidal housewives aside though, more and more women are choosing to be housewives or stay-at-home-moms these days and there seems to be a lot of talk and worry about what makes a ‘good’ housewife. The internet at least seems to be overflowing with guides on how to be the most perfect housewife there ever was but don’t worry, contrary to the title above, this isn’t one of those so-called guides. At best it’s a guide on how to be a sane housewife who didn’t murder anyone with the saucepan today, which when you think about it, is probably more useful then a guide on how to properly fold napkins into swans for Tuesday night dinner. 

So for what it’s worth, here’s my guide to being the best housewife that you can be:

1) NEVER ask anyone in the house what they want for dinner unless you’re in the mood for extensive cooking. Odds are everyone will want something different (or extravagant) and when you can’t manage it at least someone will be disappointed, which in turn will probably make you feel bad at first and under appreciated later on when you think of all the effort you did actually put in. Simply cook whatever you can manage depending on your energy levels and call it a day because let’s face it, not every day is a roast-chicken-with-all-the-trimmings kind of day. Some days are just serve-ramen-noodles-in-a-plate-and-call-it-spaghetti kind of days and thats fine too.

housewife cooking

2) When the stress gets too much, stop whatever it is you are doing, put your feet up and have a nice cup of tea (or a glass of wine if that’s your beverage of choice). The stress, the worry and the work will still be there when you’re done but you’ll be in a better frame of mind after your tea (or wine) and therefore able to handle it better.

tea break

3) No matter how much you clean, tidy up or organise the house, someone or the other will always manage to make you feel like it’s not good enough. So stop overdoing it with the housework before you keel over from exhaustion. I’m not saying of course that you should give up housework altogether and condemn yourself (and your family) to living in filth, I’m just saying that do as much as you are able and then don’t feel guilty or apologise for how not-perfect the house is! Perfection is overrated and trust me, no one’s going to care how well polished your door knobs are if you’re tired or crabby from overwork all the time.

crazy housewife

4) Repeat after me: ‘Killing this idiot who keeps trying to tell me how to do things ‘better’ will only get blood on my pretty shoes and blood stains are really difficult to get out’.

5) No matter how clean the house, how delicious the dinner or how fabulously dressed your children are, it’s not going to matter unless you are happy too. A happy you equals a happy family so make the time to do the things that make you happy whether it’s gardening, blogging, reading or colour coordinating your massive shoe collection (shoe addict? Me? Surely you are mistaken).

6) Never argue with people who, at the end of the day, will go home and can’t force you to do things their way. Zone out if you must, nod along to whatever they are saying and let the subject die out. In the end all that matters is that you, your husband and your kids are on the same page and are happy with the way things are done in your home. There’s really no point ruining your day arguing with idiots who really need a reeducation in what falls into the category of ‘none of your beeswax’.


7) When in stress, break that diet if all you need is a double chocolate fudge brownie to make you feel saner. A few extra calories is better than a stress-induced ulcer before you’re 30.

In the end, there can be no definitive guide to being the perfect housewife simply because ‘perfect housewife’ can mean different things to different people. What really matters is that you are a happy housewife with a happy home and a happy family. Perfection can wait.


51 thoughts on “How to be the Best Housewife in all the Land

  1. I am the person in number 3 that always makes me feel like the housework isn’t good enough! I tend to be really efficient, but I get upset and down when the work I’ve done doesn’t last because somebody in the family has rifled through the pots and pans cupboard and messed it up or thrown their toys all over the floor. It is so hard to realize that my efforts have to be repeated over and over and over again. I guess I’m up against the definition of insanity, doing something over and over and expecting different results. I keep expecting things to STAY clean! 🙂


    1. I know what you mean. Having to do things again and again is the definition of being a housewife. Though the sooner we accept that things will get dirty/untidy/disorganised again, the happier we will be!


    1. Hahaha! Now I’m craving some as well since I more or less just made dinner inedible what with accidentally making it saltier then the underside of a pirate ship!


  2. Okay, your number 5 on this list is so beautiful and true!! LOVE it. I need to write this on a piece of paper and put it on my fridge. Thank you!


    1. So true! But families tend to forget that little fact from time to time :p The worst is when you’re halfway through making something and someone is like ‘oh you’re making that? You should have made this’. Short order cook indeed 😣


  3. Very funny… I’m all about a little brownie batter on a rough day! I love #4 as well… especially when someone who refused to be a part of a decision decides you made the wrong one:)


  4. Love it! I don’t stay at home or have kids, but I for a while in the earlier years of my marriage I didn’t work, only attended college. I definitely had some days where I felt like no matter how much time I spent cleaning, it wasn’t enough. And I almost never ask what do you want for dinner- at best, when making the meal plan for the week I ask “Anything special you want next week?” What gets made on any actual night depends on how much time & energy I have!


    1. And that’s the way dinner should be made :p And I find that even when we’re working outside the home as well, expectations when it comes to women doing housework are still slightly unrealistic!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you agree :p Life as a housewife is hard enough without the added hurdle of catering to diverse wants and demands! I say try to make life easier for yourself whenever you can 🙂


  5. Ummm… You are flippin hilarious! I love when people say the things I am already thinking or have thought at one point in my life. I try my best to keep my inner monologue to myself, but You appear to be saying it all. Love it! Following you on Twitter now. One question? Where do you get all your graphics? They really help enhance your message. Happy SITS Day and so glad I found you!


    1. Awww, thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 It’s comments like these that make my day and make blogging worthwhile! I get my graphics from different places, basically google is my best friend :p I just have to make sure the image isn’t copyrighted and if it is, to link back to the original URL 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. We could be friends. Really. Truly. Twins. Never cook what the fam requests — always cook what you want, when you want, and how you want. You’re not a Denny’s short-order cook. Love this post and I am sharing it!


    1. Hahahaha! Twins? I love it 🙂 so many ladies have agreed with that one that I’m starting to think we should start a club 😝
      Thank you for stopping by and thank you for sharing!


  7. Hi, visiting you via the SITS girls. Loved number 5. My sister is a shoe addict also, it makes her super happy to go buy herself a pair of beautiful shoes (it takes care of her stress also,) so I really get where you’re coming from. A terrific post! Wish you the best with your blogging efforts.


  8. Regarding #1 my father in law has two go-to phrases; one answers the question/complaint can we have xyz for dinner/I don’t want to eat abc (This isn’t Burger King where you can have it your way); and the other answers the ultimate what are we having for dinner (Food. Good, edible, warm food.)
    I stole those from him and proudly use it every day. Happy SITS day!


  9. I’m at home for the time being, and I have to say that being at home is so much more stressful than being at work. Love the kick your feet up with a glass of wine 🙂 I need to do that more often 🙂


    1. I’m a stay at home mom and housewife and I totally agree that this is way more demanding and stressful then working outside the home (which I was doing before mommyhood)! We need a break more so then our working counterparts 😣 At least they get weekends and holidays off!


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