It takes all sorts of people to make the world, and not all of them are necessarily likeable. Some will be your friends, others will be your enemies, some will be mildly annoying, while a great majority will be those who simply don’t effect your life and are therefore irrelevant, at least to you personally. However, that being said, there will always be certain types of people who not only annoy you but consistently manage to make you see red. These are the people who piss you off, who frustrate you to the point where you want to tear off their arm and beat them to death with it or failing that, shoot yourself in the head if it means you no longer have to put up with them. The exact types of individuals who fall into this category may be different for different people, but here are a few who definitely come within this category as far as I am concerned:
1) The Condescending Joe
These are those lovely people who love to feel superior to everyone else and to show just how superior they are, they simply can’t not smile condescendingly during any and all conversations while they not-so-subtly put you down, all the time addressing you like one might address an uppity 4 year old. Your favourite author is Terry Pratchett? Oh how cuuuute! I think it’s simply adorable that you prefer reading kids books but remind me next time and I’ll lend you something a bit more grown up *insert condescending smile*. I swear it takes all my will power to not throttle such people before they have a chance to finish their little speech. Listen buddy, just because you’re too inane to pick up on the social commentary or subtext involved in books like those by Terry Pratchett doesn’t mean I have to listen to your drivel on how all fantasy or SciFi literature is for kids. Oh and FYI, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ isn’t exactly the height of classic literature that you think it is.
2) Mr. Know-it-all
A close cousin to the Condescending Joe above, Mr. Know-it-all is the kind of person who is completely unwilling to concede that any point of view other then his own can even exist, much less be right. This isn’t the guy who’ll yell and scream to get his point heard though, no this is the idiot who tries to show his superiority by smiling and shaking his head pityingly all the time that you’re talking before proceeding to explain to you that you’re obviously wrong and his is the only true point of view! Suffice it to say such people really, really test my resolve to not go on a murderous rampage anytime soon.
3) Mr. It-doesn’t-apply-to-me
We all have someone like this in our lives. This is the guy who consistently whines about all that is wrong with the world but fails to apply any of the rules to himself. So this person will perhaps whine about the filthy roads while at the same time dumping McDonald wrappers out the window of his moving car, or he’ll crib about horrible drivers making the roads unsafe for other while he himself blasts through stop signs like it ain’t no thing. Sometimes I wonder if these people really think the rules don’t apply to them or they honestly don’t realise the hypocrisy of their actions. Given the level of stupidity human beings as a species are capable of, I wouldn’t be surprised if 9 times out of 10 it was the latter.
If you’ve ever studied in any educational institution, held a job, or generally functioned in society in any way, you’re bound to have run into this particular category of the frustratingly inane. These are the people who never put in the effort required to achieve their goals in life and then whine when things aren’t handed to them on a silver platter. This is the guy who’ll be consistently late for work every single day, but cuss out the boss for being a jackass when he finally fires him. Or the idiot who leaves off working in a project till the last minute and then proceeds to whine about not getting an extension on the deadline! Dude, seriously, either put in the work like the rest of us or STOP whining!
5) The Non-Modest One
Do not confuse this category with people who indulge in empty boasts or whine without reason. No, this is that very special niche category of people who do actually take part in ‘good deeds’ or give charity, but they never miss an opportunity to shove their ‘good deeds’ in your face. These people spend less time actually doing things and more time boasting about all the wonderful things they do and how the poor, afflicted or otherwise down-on-their-luck would simply not survive without their benevolence. Yes yes, I know how much charity you give or about that time you volunteered in the soup kitchen sweetheart, but have you heard of this little virtue they call modesty? I hear its all the rage these days, you should definitely give it a try. Or failing that, could you please just remover yourself from my vicinity? I really really don’t want to kill any more annoying people today.